Newly elected Texas Sen. James Talarico crashed this week’s “Saturday Night Live” cold open in order to ask the question on everyone’s mind: How many more of these “Donald-Trump-freezes-the-action-to-ramble” cold opens is “SNL” going to do? Talarico popped up near the end of the cold open to cheers from the “SNL” audience.
“I’m the guy who’s been texting you every day asking for $5,” he said in introducing himself. Responding as “Donald Trump” (James Austin Johnson), the character said, “In this economy, who can blame you?”
Talarico continued, “But I think, Mr. President, if we can work together, we can make life better for everyday Americans. It’s clear people want something new. They want something different. I’m talking, of course, about SNL’s cold opens. How many of these Trump freezers are they going to do?”
“Saturday Night Live” opened its first episode post-midterm election with Sarah Sherman as Chuck Schumer and Kenan Thompson as Hakeem Jeffries celebrating this week’s “blue tsunami” while refusing to admit that with young Democrats energized, perhaps it’s time for them to step aside and pass the torch to the next generation.
But then, of course, Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) freezed the frame and gave his take on the election. “The Democrats never would have won without this horrible economy and terrible war,” he said. “So, in the words of Moana’s big fat friend, ‘You’re welcome.’” Trump then noted that “They’re saying the era of Trump is over” — leading “J.D. Vance” to pop in: “and the era of Vance has just begun!” Trump responded: “No, no way… Who the hell was that?”
Trump then pointed out that “the other day we lost, and I didn’t even say it was rigged. I accepted the results, which is almost scarier in a way. It’s like, ‘what the hell is he planning?’ I’ll tell you what I’m planning: ballroom. That’s it. That’s all I care about. Look at that beam, big beam over there. Look at that, and marble. The likes of which you’ve never seen. Oh my God! I hate my life. The next two years are going to be awful. I don’t want to work with these people. It’s not that they’re Democrats; it’s that they’re millennials.”
